Are you looking at me?

This week I began my journey back toward having a grill. I now have implants where my lower front teeth existed before my accident. I thought that falling on my face was painful, I was mistaken. I won't bore you with my montage of "Is it safe?" quotes from the movie Marathon Man. Those familiar enough with my odyssey know my abject fear of anyone putting instruments in my mouth. I will say this, "there is nothing more startling than hearing the sound of a motorized tool drilling through one's gum into bone".

I am passing along something I wrote a few weeks back which I hope you find light-hearted.

Cast:
Claire: A thirty year old professional who loves her work (architecture) but spends far too much time on the job. Her close friends are always after her to relax and have fun but Claire often finds a reason to decline. Today, they've convinced her to meet at Ratzo’s to celebrate her promotion.

Ingrid: Ingrid owns Ratzo’s but rarely works; choosing to manage the bar and staff. Tonight she is tending the bar because Allen (her regular bartender) is attending a reunion and Beth (who normally fills in for Allen) is ill.

Leslie: Works for a local art gallery. She has known Claire since childhood and makes more of an effort now than does Claire to maintain their friendship.

Diane: Owns a local boutique in Old Town. She attended Depaul with Leslie and Claire and became fast friends with both.

Stan: Stan is a well dressed man sitting alone in the bar who is noticed by Claire.

Scene Description: It is Happy Hour at Ratzo’s, a popular local bar in Old Town, a neighborhood on the Near North side of Chicago. It is a place frequented by young professionals because of it's location on the near North Side of Chicago to many of the businesses. It is a great place to meet and have drinks before heading to the theater or one of many restaurants in the area.

---

It had been a hectic week at work so when Claire steps through the door of Ratzo’s, a popular club in Old Town, she breathes a sigh of relief and elation. It was early and she doesn’t see her friends. She decides to sit at the bar, order a margarita while waiting for Leslie and Diane to arrive.

She doesn’t recognize the woman behind the bar and wonders what else was different since the last time she visited Ratzo’s. It was here that she met Charles a man who seemed initially charming but months later proved that all that glitters is not gold. Charles forgot to mention that he no longer worked in advertising; he no longer worked for Goldstein and Weston. As a matter of fact, Charles no longer worked. He had been fired due to his drinking problem.

Months after ending their relationship, Claire was still paying off a debt thanks to giving Charles one of her credit cards. The mere thought of Charles gave her a queasy nauseous feeling.

After a few minutes, the bartender notices Claire and walks over to where she's sitting.

“What can I get you?” queries the bartender over the din of voices from nearby patrons.

Claire cups one hand behind her ear as if to say, “I can’t hear you” and then replies with a question of her own, “Where’s Allen at tonight?”

The bartender leans toward Claire and answers, “He's attending a class reunion with his wife.”

“Oh” Claire responds with a somewhat surprised expression on her face. “I didn’t know Allen was married.”

The bartender chuckles sarcastically and says, “Most women who come in here don’t know that. What can I get you to drink?”

Claire smiles and replies, “Margarita”

“Coming right up”

The bartender moves to her left and begins preparing Claire’s drink. Claire slowly spins the bar stool around to survey the rest of the bar; wondering to herself, what else was different about Ratzo's.

To her right and towards the rear of the bar sits a man, alone at a small table smiling in her direction. Claire looks to her left but (unlike her) everyone is facing the bar. There are two women to her immediate right who appear oblivious to this smiling solitary man; they seem engaged in banter.

She notices the overhead light illuminating the navy color of his suit. Underneath his jacket he wears a muted striped shirt and burgundy-colored paisley necktie. Claire thinks, “He looks quite sure of himself sitting there all alone smiling over here. I suppose he thinks that I’m fair game for any jackal on the prowl!”

She turns her attention to the door wondering what’s delaying Diane and Leslie. From the corner of her eye she can still see the stranger staring and smiling; she begins to feel uncomfortable. When the bartender returns with her drink she speaks tentatively.

“There’s a guy staring over here and I’m feeling uncomfortable.”

“Really?” The bartender looks up to survey the area. “Who’s making you uncomfortable?”

In an attempt to be inconspicuous, Claire whispers, “You see the guy in the corner wearing a navy suit and burgundy-colored paisley necktie?”

The bartender looks up and nods her head, acknowledging she spots him. “Yes, I see him, I’ll be right back.”

And with that she walks from around the bar toward the man seated in the corner. Claire watches and wonders what the bartender will say to the man; she thinks, “Maybe I should’ve just ignored him”.

She can see the bartender leaning forward, her lips moving. The man looks surprised by what’s been revealed to him. He stands up and follows the bartender as they both approach Claire.

The bartender asks, “Excuse me what is your name?”

Claire thinks to herself, “Did I say I wanted match.com?” She replies somewhat hesitantly, “My name is Claire.”

The bartender smiles at Claire and then speaks, “Claire I’d like to introduce you to Stan. Stan was telling me something which I think you should hear.”

About this time, Claire notices Diane and Leslie entering the bar and she waves them over while she lifts her other hand to pause any further discussion until her friends arrive. When they reach the bar Claire speaks first.

“Ladies, this is Stan and the bartender is … I’m sorry, what is your name?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, my name is Ingrid”, replies the bartender.

“Right, ladies as I was saying, this is Stan, and this is Ingrid.”

Leslie and Diane look at each other smile at Stan and Ingrid and are about to greet them when Claire continues.

“I had mentioned to Ingrid that Stan was staring over here. But actually, more than just staring, Stan was smiling in this direction quite confidently; as if he knew something no one else was aware of.”

“Now while it’s perfectly normal and understandable for a man to look at a woman in a bar, constant staring is a bit too much for me. I found his behavior disconcerting. Ingrid decided to bring Stan over here I assume to explain his behavior. So Stan, what’s the deal here; what’s the reason you have for staring over here?”

Stan looks over at Ingrid and smiles somewhat sheepishly and begins his defense. “Well it would seem that the charges against me are quite compelling. And I will admit that I was staring over in this direction at a very beautiful woman.”

Claire interrupts, “I knew it!”

Stan continues, “But I was staring at the beautiful woman behind you.”

Looking as if she’s heard all the typical lines that guys will use in a bar, Claire replies, “What kind of joke is this? There’s no woman behind me!”

Ingrid smiles at Claire, “That’s because she’s standing in front of you Claire. Stan is my husband.”

As Claire attempts to process the revelation, Diane and Leslie erupt in laughter and are soon joined by Ingrid and Stan.

Claire finally speaks with a somewhat embarrassed expression, “Well I guess its drinks on me tonight!”

Diane puts her arm around Claire, “It’s ok Claire we think you’re beautiful. Don’t we Leslie?”

Leslie smiles at Diane as they both look at Claire and repeat as if on cue, “Cause you really ain’t hard to look at!”